...On Faith

Romans 5:3-5

3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Faith. That's the topic for today. It's something that I've been pondering and studying lately as it seems I am in a stand-off with my faith. Or for my faith.

The above scripture was given to me today by a co-worker(who ironically is not saved) and it couldn't have come at a better time for me right now. I've written previously about how I felt I'd reached a new level in my walk with God, and I'm realizing how unprecedented this has been in my life. I've not experienced Him in this way before and so some things are new to me.

I've always thought of faith as my ability to believe hard enough for blessings, etc. I'm now realizing that faith is not that at all.  That sort of faith is like crossing your fingers and hoping to win the lottery. The true faith is that described in Hebrews 11. Faith displayed by the likes of Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, and even Rahab. Faith unseen presence of God. Faith that the things He promises have ALREADY been delivered, whether they have manifested or not.  Being unable to see or even feel Him, but KNOWING that He is there and resting in that presence.

I've always exercised the faith of Peter. You know the story. Jesus is walking on water and Peter asks Him to confirm his presence by allowing Peter to walk on water. I used to think, and had been taught that this was an amazing display of Peter's faith compared to the others on the boat. However, now with my experience and study, I realize that this was not an exercise in faith at all.  I now feel that Peter never believed he could walk on water. He was challenging Jesus, because He still did not believe he was the Son of Man. It was as if he was saying, Lord it's not enough that you are walking on water and it's clearly you, but show me more. Impress me. Make ME walk on water as well. That is why Jesus chastised Peter when he rescued him, because Peter never believed he could walk on water. He was only testing Jesus's claim as a deity.  I've done this plenty of times in my life, challenged God to impress me with His omnipotence and then cowered when His power was on display. Rather than believing He was there whether he showed himself or not.

This type of "faith" is dangerous because it reduces God to peek a boo status. If He does something great then He's God and worthy of our worship and loyalty. If He doesn't then we cast Him off. This mentality is what kept the Israelites wandering in the desert so long. 

Instead we should be like Abraham who was willing to sacrifice his son Isaac knowing that God would and could resurrect Him because He'd been given a promise. Or the Hebrew boys who understood that God did not have to prove himself by saving them for them to understand that He was indeed God.  In the same way in my life I am learning to rest in the peace of His (omni)presence. Like the above scripture, I'm facing difficult times and my patience and endurance is being tested. However, my faith is growing as I begin to understand that God's Word does not return void. His promises can be fulfilled even on my deathbed and it is the ultimate reward to be welcomed into His kingdom based only on my unwavering belief in its existence. Not because of how much He has blessed me. THAT is the true definition of faith. And that is what I now aspire to.