BEWARE: THE ANTI-WIFE

Prov 7
21 So she seduced him with her pretty speech
      and enticed him with her flattery.
22 He followed her at once,
      like an ox going to the slaughter.
   He was like a stag caught in a trap,
23    awaiting the arrow that would pierce its heart.
   He was like a bird flying into a snare,
      little knowing it would cost him his life.

We've all come in contact with her. She's an old college friend. An ex high school sweetheart. A coworker. She's who you check your facebook and twitter for three or four times in the hour to see if she responded to your witty posts. She's the one you share inside jokes with in private IM's, or during shared lunch breaks. She gets all your jokes. She understands you. She speaks the "guy language". She's "not like other women." You think about her when you're away from her, and wonder what it'd be like if you two got together. You begin to conjure up scenarios where it could possibly happen. A business trip. A class reunion. A "working" dinner after hours. You know who she is. She's just a friend. No, she's not. She's the Anti-Wife. I've come to a recent realization. And by recent, I mean last night. My wife and I argue. Every couple does they say. When we argue there's usually a period of silence that follows where she's not talking to me or vice-versa. It was during these times, that I would always find myself entertaining my Anti-wife.

Similar to the Anti-Christ, the Anti-wife is just that because of her ability to seemingly be all things to all men. She sneaks in when your wife is pregnant and doesn't feel attractive, and reminds you how sexy she is. She waltzes with easy conversation and laughs during turbulent married times when all it seem you do is fight with your wife. She says all the right things. Wears all the right things. Always agrees with you, and EVEN gives you advice about your wife. She seems to have the careful balance of knowing about women AND men. She knows what you want and can express in better terms than you. She makes you feel like a man. Like you matter. Like a king. And she makes you wonder why your wife isn't more like her. She makes you wonder why you didn't meet her first.  She makes you wonder and feel that if "anything ever happened" between you and your wife, that she'd be the first person you call. It's a match made in heaven. So it seems.

You see, I know the anti-wife very well. She was my high school sweetheart. The first sexual relationship I ever had. Willing to do anything and everything. The relationship that never got closure we just went separate ways. Until social networking made the world a lot smaller. Years passed made it difficult for me to remember how much spiritual turmoil she caused me. Why i ran in the first place. How I lost my virginity and regretted it since. How she thought she was pregnant. I told my parents. She never mentioned it to hers. How she ruined EVERY relationship I've ever been in by her willingness to be available at anytime. Any place. How I'd almost been killed by jealous boyfriends over her. And my weakness to realize what i finally came to the conclusion of last night. She has been assigned to me. She's my anti-wife.

You see, Proverbs 5, 6, and 7 lay out real clear who the anti-wife is. Honey dripping lips. Talk as smooth as oil. Beautiful. Seductive. It also describes her as brash. Rebellious. Sly of heart. Her victims? Naive young men who lack common sense(Proverbs 7:7). Me. I had been so naive, and since recovering from my last traipse with this vixen, I've found myself being enticed by the nostalgia of our encounters again. Ironically (not) I'm in the midst of a hard time with my wife, due to these same trysts. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?! I woke up this morning with a fervency and anger after having dreamed about her and being consumed with thoughts of her. I was angry at myself. At how she was making my wife look second rate. When I knew that was NOT the case. At how I was wondering subconsciously if I still had feelings for her when i KNOW i do not. How she had never really been THAT bad and just needed a good man to show her how a woman should be treated. WHAT!?!?!

NO! This woman is not my wife! She is a fake! A fraud! Her prime goal is to seduce, bamboozle, swindle, and lure me away from my prized possession! She is the deceiver. The tempter! The lion seeking whom she may devour. She is the lawless one. The ADVERSARY! THE ENEMY! THE MOTHER AND PRODUCER OF LIES! RUN FROM HER! I got up and prayed with fervency at the revelation that she was not an old friend, she was assigned to me to take me out! To reduce my will, lure me off the path of righteousness and into her doorway that leads to death! This is serious business.

Proverbs 31 describes in great detail the virtue of a WIFE. A true wife. He who findeth one finds a good thing and OBTAINS favor of the Lord. It is also a STARK contrast compared to proverbs 5,6,and 7. The anti-wife promises pleasure but only brings pain! She promises comfort, adoration, admiration, and affirmation! SHE BRINGS RUIN! TORMENT! Her root is lust. Her goal is deceit and ultimately death. SHUT HER OFF! Cut her down! Flee from her!

Brothers understand that our marriages are constantly under attack and any relationship with a woman outside of your wife can develop into a detriment to your holy united entity. Don't let it happen to you. Keep your marriage protected and safe. Don't let the enemy creep in between you. He wants to isolate you from your wife so that you begin to look elsewhere. The anti-wife will look, sound, and even feel like the real thing but she is poison! BEWARE!

PROVERBS 31
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
      but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
 31 Reward her for all she has done.
      Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

...On Faith

Romans 5:3-5

3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

Faith. That's the topic for today. It's something that I've been pondering and studying lately as it seems I am in a stand-off with my faith. Or for my faith.

The above scripture was given to me today by a co-worker(who ironically is not saved) and it couldn't have come at a better time for me right now. I've written previously about how I felt I'd reached a new level in my walk with God, and I'm realizing how unprecedented this has been in my life. I've not experienced Him in this way before and so some things are new to me.

I've always thought of faith as my ability to believe hard enough for blessings, etc. I'm now realizing that faith is not that at all.  That sort of faith is like crossing your fingers and hoping to win the lottery. The true faith is that described in Hebrews 11. Faith displayed by the likes of Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, and even Rahab. Faith unseen presence of God. Faith that the things He promises have ALREADY been delivered, whether they have manifested or not.  Being unable to see or even feel Him, but KNOWING that He is there and resting in that presence.

I've always exercised the faith of Peter. You know the story. Jesus is walking on water and Peter asks Him to confirm his presence by allowing Peter to walk on water. I used to think, and had been taught that this was an amazing display of Peter's faith compared to the others on the boat. However, now with my experience and study, I realize that this was not an exercise in faith at all.  I now feel that Peter never believed he could walk on water. He was challenging Jesus, because He still did not believe he was the Son of Man. It was as if he was saying, Lord it's not enough that you are walking on water and it's clearly you, but show me more. Impress me. Make ME walk on water as well. That is why Jesus chastised Peter when he rescued him, because Peter never believed he could walk on water. He was only testing Jesus's claim as a deity.  I've done this plenty of times in my life, challenged God to impress me with His omnipotence and then cowered when His power was on display. Rather than believing He was there whether he showed himself or not.

This type of "faith" is dangerous because it reduces God to peek a boo status. If He does something great then He's God and worthy of our worship and loyalty. If He doesn't then we cast Him off. This mentality is what kept the Israelites wandering in the desert so long. 

Instead we should be like Abraham who was willing to sacrifice his son Isaac knowing that God would and could resurrect Him because He'd been given a promise. Or the Hebrew boys who understood that God did not have to prove himself by saving them for them to understand that He was indeed God.  In the same way in my life I am learning to rest in the peace of His (omni)presence. Like the above scripture, I'm facing difficult times and my patience and endurance is being tested. However, my faith is growing as I begin to understand that God's Word does not return void. His promises can be fulfilled even on my deathbed and it is the ultimate reward to be welcomed into His kingdom based only on my unwavering belief in its existence. Not because of how much He has blessed me. THAT is the true definition of faith. And that is what I now aspire to.

Unfailing Love of God

Psalm 13

 1 O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?
      How long will you look the other way?
 2 How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
      with sorrow in my heart every day?
      How long will my enemy have the upper hand?
 3 Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
      Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
 4 Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!”
      Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.

 5 But I trust in your unfailing love.
      I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
 6 I will sing to the Lord
      because he is good to me.

I didn't post anything this past week for a few reasons. One, I didn't have Internet access during a snowstorm that brought my city to a virtual standstill. Two, the past week has been the weakest, loneliest week that I've experienced in a while.

It is interesting that I felt this way because everything around me says that things should be going well. I'd just come off an amazing weekend at the Men's Encounter where I definitely felt a breakthrough in my walk with God. I have my family, my mentors, and a great church family, but somehow I felt alone. I'd been riding the longest spiritual high I've ever had and then suddenly it was as if someone turned the lights out. I reached out to two people I trust dearly and they both told me the same thing. Relationships with God are just like relationships with people. There are highs, lows, ebbs and flows. Times we feel so connected, and times we feel distant. The key is to rest in the knowledge that the relationship exists, and is strong enough to bear you through the distant times.

Allow me to be transparent a moment. When you are recovering from a major fall in sin, there are people that you encounter, who mean well but can sometimes be frustrating. Those who are there to walk you along the path to restoration (Gal 6:1) often times, without intention I'm sure, tend to treat you with a sort of condescending pity. Most conversation with them usually revolves around them asking you how you're doing, with very concerned looks on their faces. Basically what they are saying is "Have you been sinning? Are you thinking about sinning? Are you gonna sin again?"  They mean well, and can even be helpful when needed. But building relationships with them is difficult because it is always on a 70/30 basis. They want to know everything about you and what you're going through. They rarely reveal anything about themselves, mostly because you are the one who sinned, and obviously can't be trusted, (at least this was my feeling) and so they are doing their duty as a good christian. What they don't realize is that while they've made themselves great advisers, and accountability peers, they haven't made themselves great friends. Friendship is based on an equal give and take, an equal contribution, and at times these relationships start to feel like you only talk to them when there is a problem. Or vice-versa. You start to feel like a charity case. People observe you from a distance, applaud your progress and pat you on the back, but no one really gets close or lets you into THEIR space. So this past week, I was very upset at the relationships I have in my life, because at the moment it seems that this is what they consist of. I vented this frustration to my wife and wondered, as I'm sure Job did, why God had left me alone after such great time together.

That was good advice. But not enough. I felt so distant from God that I considered that maybe everything I'd experienced in the last year was a fluke. That I was not the man I thought I'd become. I allowed the enemy to creep into my thoughts, tell me how I'd failed, how I'd regressed and was no longer worthy of God's grace. Granted it had only been a week's time. I had not committed any sinful acts and honestly was doing things the same as always. But I felt lost. I felt abandoned. I sat through service yesterday and listened to a guest preacher talk about discipleship, and the importance of leaning on each other, and I felt at that moment that I had no one to lean on.

Enter the Holy Spirit. While I was lamenting my failures, and allowing the enemy to have a field day in my mind up to the point that I was determined to cut off relationships that I knew were vital to my success. I finally decided to open my bible for my one year reading, that I'd neglected during the previous week. I came across the above passage and literally broke down. It's amazing how the Word of God can pinpoint exactly the emotion that you are feeling at a time. I dropped to my knees and begin to pray to God about what I was feeling, and in those moments of prayer it came to me that sometimes the Lord will test us to prove our worth or our resolve. This sparked a new revelation that i will touch on tomorrow but it felt as if the light had been switched back on and I'd found my place again. I felt the love of God wrap around me and I felt validated again. The lesson I learned however was that times like these are simply a sign for me to push through the darkness to the next phase. I'm glad to say that I'm back on track and feeling good again. Praise God.
Final thing. The last two versus are what pulled me out of my funk. "But I will trust in your UNFAILING LOVE. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me." These words, trusting in God's unfailing love. Rejoicing because he is good. Worshipping. It was in that moment when I realized the significance of his his assurance that he would never leave nor forsake me. Sometimes We are tested. Sometimes we have to walk through the valley of the shadow of death, but GOD IS ALWAYS THERE. He will never leave, nor forsake us. Even if I make my bed in hell(psalm 139:8). Praise God.

Peace.