The World is Upside Down

Yes its been a minute. I've been up to more than a few things since my last post here. Mainly my poetry website, http://ispeaklogos.com. Also my music website http://ispeaklogos.bandcamp.com where i released my Mixtape Words in the Sun. Don't worry, I'm not rapping lol. Its poetry over some soulful instrumentals. Just getting the creativity out any way i can.

Anyway, I guess my return can be contributed to a few things. One, I've taken a hiatus from social media of sorts. It actually took about five days and a few confirmations for this to actually happen. I'd tried deleting the twitter app from my phone, but just couldnt get through the day without going back in. Interestingly enough i found it almost nauseating to realize i was addicted to Twitter.  Like it wasnt possible for me to go without posting the random thoughts, most of which i should probably keep in my head, for all to see. That brought me to the realization of the attention we crave, and the validation we seek from others. even if its just strangers. Which in turn made me begin to question my motive of why i do the things i do, including poetry.  I love to write, have to write, and Twitter in a way does that for me, but I also like people to tell me that what i write is dope. And Retweets, followers, and comments are just that. Validation.  So because i'm going through some transitions in life, my family and I to be specific, i decided i needed to step away to hear the voice of God more clearly.

Second thing that brings me back, which is not as dire, but still potent. I need a place to write out my thoughts now that i'm not on Twitter for a while. And what better place than the good ole blog! Blogs have kind of taken a backseat to the immediacy of social networks. Why post three or four paragraphs when you can just sum it up in a few twitter rants? Regardless, i need someplace to vent, and since this is as close to a journal as i'll get, i'm back. At least for a season.

Final thoughts. It seems like my world has been turned upside down. At my church we had a revival that really affected me deeply. Helped me find my voice, and even set me on the path i knew i should have been on all along.  God confirmed some things and i felt ready to take the world by storm. I knew who I was.  All of a sudden, with the transition into this new phase. Someone took the snowglobe of my life and turned it upside down. Now I feel like i'm stumbling for direction and just tryign to stay upright. I havent even thought of wielding the power given to me, righ tnow i'm just trying to stay alive.  I wonder if I'm the only person who's ever felt this way?  Probably not. I had a dream the other night that I was in an elevator going up, and the elevator kept flipping upside down, but no matter how many times it flipped, i kept landing on my feet. Perhaps that is an indication to hold on to my faith.  We'll see. Until next time.


Pease.