Would You Like Cheese on That? Preferences vs Requirements

So I've been stirring up a lot of dust on Twitter lately. Basically I've run into a few women who are taller than the average height, who say that it is a REQUIREMENT for the man they date to be taller than them, with heels on. Now this as a preference doesn't bother me, but a requirement? Cmon. So i proceeded to antagonize, as I do, and ultimately lost the argument. However, I wanted to take the time to defend my argument of preferences vs requirements.

That these women wanted a tall man doesn't bother me, even though I'm only 5'7" I'm good. Well, I'm already married too so...anyway, my wife last night asked me what was wrong with their preference, and she brought up an interesting point. She said, "Well, you wouldn't date a tall woman, so why you tripping?" I thought about it for a second and realized there was a time when I would've felt insecure about a tall woman, nowadays it don't matter to me. However, I still prefer my woman around my height.
Hypocritical? I think not. Here's the difference. While I would not initially PURSUE a tall woman, if I met one, and the chemistry was there, and she was fine, I wouldn't dismiss it JUST BECAUSE she is tall. Now do I prefer them shorter? Yes. I married short. HOWEVER, if I was single, and I vibe with a woman who was taller than me, as a man, I'm going to say let's at least give it a shot. Now if things don't work b/c of this issue or others, then at least I tried. That's the difference.

A preference is something you'd like to have, like wanting cheese on a hamburger. A requirement is something that is nonnegotiable. So if I brought you a hamburger but forgot the cheese, you'd toss it in the trash because your hamburgers MUST have cheese. I find this ridiculous. If you like burgers, you like burgers, and if you didn't get cheese doesn't mean the burger won't be good. This may be the best cheese-less burger you ever had, but you missing out, AND you're still hungry to boot. Doesn't make sense does it?

Why am I championing this cause when I'm married you say? Mostly to be antagonistic and stir up dialogue. In the end, I can't really care because I'm taken. However, if I was a short single brotha, and I approached a member of the Tulsa Shock, I'd be ticked if she dissed me JUST BECAUSE I'm short. Feels kinda shallow to say it's a requirement. What do y'all think? Comment and respond.

Fred Hammond on Song Writing

Short post today. So, Sunday night I was up on twitter and one of the gospel greats of our time, and one of the best song writers, happened to be on there as well, he started dropping knowledge about songwriting and techniques and I was able to ask a few questions that he actually responded to. Just thought I'd share with you guys(at least I think I'm sharing with someone). Ladies and gentleman, Fred Hammond:

"Song writers, the way I developed my song writing skill was when I heard beautiful or powerful moments in a song I'd dissect it and get the heart of it or DNA of it & apply the principle of the moment to my writing style. [For example] "I need you more than want you, & i want you for all time"  A very, very simple statement but the back end of the statement "want you for all time" brings the reality of how deep the love is, but keeps the simplicity of the moment.

The whole song is very honest (in its tone) but the describers are very Vivid. I love moments like that, they help my Pen.

The DNA of that moment helps me write moments like "Lost in You Again", "my (SEARCH) will not end till I (FIND ) myself (LOST) in You again." Finding one self lost is usually not a great feeling, but Finding my self lost in the Heart of God. Like imagine I'm free falling, deeper, and deeper into His heart, like i jumped out of an airplane at 40,000 feet with no chute. That's the lost I'm talking about.

SO THEN I ASKED: Are those the same aspects applied when you wrote Hear My Cry and Simply Put?

HIS REPLY:
@lraywill Hallerin Hill & I were fighting back Tears in Ihop while we were writing the Lyrics to that song.  We were Moments away from embarrassing ourselves. It was Saturday morning... Ihop...

There you go fam, straight from one of the greats. I love when an artist tells the meaning or moments behind a song, because it gives the music context and perspective and makes me listen with new ears. Just reading those tweets reawakened the songwriter in me. I think a new era is about to begin.

The Artistic License

Been giving this one a lot of thought. Last week, I posted some thoughts on the use of artistic gifts and talents and the subject came up to me that I've often discussed with others who are similar in talent to me. Why does it seem that the church produces artistic gifts, but does not support or provide an outlet for them?
I attend a church that heavily supports the arts. Poetry, dance, music, acting, all of it has an outlet, one way or another. However, there are a lot of churches, and subsequently a lot of people in these churches that stifle these particular gifts, especially if they aren't presented in the traditional fashion. Musical gifts are honored the most, but primarily through choirs, praise and worship teams and such. A person who might have the skill or talent of an India.Arie or a Lauryn Hill, or a Dwele might find themselves lacking an opportunity or the guidance to fully express themselves in Christ. What this leads to often times are those people searching outside of the church for the validation of their gift that they originally wanted to present to the body of Christ but was rejected.

I was fortunate to attend a college that had a culture of young artists, hip hop,dance, soul, poetic that filtered through the school for about a seven year period. The good thing about this was that the school itself was not necessarily an artistic school, so us having found each other, used each other for inspiration and to grow our gifts. And we all wanted to use them for the kingdom. We had a vision of being able to be artistically free, and present to the world that the Kingdom of God had a standard of excellence on par or better with the most popular artist in the world. Sadly, after leaving college, pursuing those dreams, many of these artists are no longer pursuing their gifts in the church. Their reasoning? The church's (figurative) four walls were not accepting of the presentation of their gifts. This rings true to me because I have often felt the same way when it came to things I really wanted to express, versus things I knew would not be accepted. Now I'm not talking vulgarity, or inappropriateness, only subjects that reflect real life, real issues, and real emotions.

One thing that I've noticed is this: Some of these artists are pursuing their craft, outside of the church, but are still dedicated to the cause. Their message is more subtle, but their dedication the same. They'd be called "positive music" rather than "Christian". Think, India.Arie, Anthony Hamilton, Common(I know Common isn't a christian, just an example), etc. On the OTHER HAND, the other artists are completely off the map in regards to their Christianity. Some have turned completely away, driven away by the rejection they felt from the church, and some have simply pushed the boundaries of artistry so far that they no longer could draw the line anywhere. So it seems that we have to be careful as artists, what our motivation is. If it is to be recognized by fame and acclaim then their could be great danger in pursuing your craft outside the church. If the goal is to spread a message, then pursuing that outside the church could have its benefits. However, we must never allow our gifts, art, talents, to stand in for our integrity. The bible says what we should meditate on:

 "Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things."

Also, Timothy encourages us to "Keep a close watch on how you live and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right for the sake of your own salvation and the salvation of those who hear you."1 Timothy 4:16

I think as artist these are two principles we should definitely focus on. While it would be great for the church to open its views and accept, and thus promote and support their own artists, rather than lose them to the world. It is more important that we as artists who grew up in the church don't allow the enemy to lead us off the path of righteousness for the sake of fame. Make a living, yes. Do what you love, yes. Compromise your soul and integrity? No.

I'm Doing Me

"I'll take an L for derailed trains of thought, if it re-routes one track mind." - Reggie Legend

 The above, super-lyrical quote is written by a friend of mine out of Chicago, and probably one of the best poets i've ever met. His book, Steel Waters, along with my readings( or re-reading) of Irresistible Husband really caused me to take stock of the type of mindset that has developed in my generation over the years. Growing up in an over-saturated, materialistic era that glorifies the "DO IT BIG" lifestyle, I'm starting to notice how these things have really subconsciously affected me and my walk in the faith. Before I thought of them as foolish trends that only those who lacked motivation, intelligence, or knowledge of self would follow. In other words, a sheep's mentality. Now I realize that these are not just trends. They have become our culture.

 Culture is composed of customs, traditions, art, music, language, literature, and institutions. Our culture is marked by a steady spread of immoral behavior that weakens family life, promotes disrespect for authority, and insults the practice of personal responsibilty. "Do You" is a phrase often cited, in context it is taken to mean to do what you feel is right, or what suits you best. This mentality while empowering, has taken a new level because it eventually negates any accountability to or from our fellow man. If our actions are questioned, we can simply say "Hey, i'm doing me." and it becomes acceptable. Twitter, facebook, and yes even blogsites have perpetuated a narcissistic and selfish society where we are seduced into thinking that we can do our own thing without thought or concern for others. The "Only God Can Judge Me" and "Stop Hating and Get Money" mentality that is promoted by our culture doesn't take into account the fact that we may hurt others with our actions, only that we fulfill our indulges through immediate gratifications. The Bible calls these the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life.

 This really affected me because I realized that I'd been living my life having adopted the culture around me, not subscribing to the culture that God creates for us, which is one of integrity, goodwill, and forgiveness. I'd become selfish in my dealings. Employing a me-first mentality at my job, in my home, and even with my friends. Seeking reciprocity for every act of kindness and becoming bitter if I was not repayed in the way I thought I should be. Going to work and only looking out for myself. Or indulging in lustful activities, rather than committing myself to my wife and marriage. I was just "doing me", when I should have been doing Him. On another note, I felt it necessary to throw myself into my work, charge my way up the corporate ladder, and force open doors that should have stayed shut.  All the while neglecting my family; using the excuse of a "better life" whenever my wife questioned my motives. Is it better to have a bigger home, nicer cars, and clothes, when you lose your family in the process? Was it worth gaining the whole world to lose my soul? I think we as men have a choice to live by a certain standard, and than standard has been diminished lowered, through our ties to the culture around us, we should be careful of what we take in, lest we allow ourselves to be seduced into a sleep from which  we will never awake.

Peace.